Monday, October 26, 2009

"It's a long way down, but I feel alright"

Every song i hear,
Every conversation i have,
Resonates with my heart.
I don't know yet what the right or wrong thing to do is,
all i know is i will not allow fear or loneliness to sway my decisions.
I do not need fair-weather friendships
I do not need your opinion.
I am just trying to sit. With God. And figure out what it means to "follow my heart."
I hated that phrase until it became true to me. and i hope it becomes true for you.

My non-poetic happenings in life include
Spending a lot of time on the back porch.
Spending a lot of time in the library...and enjoying it.
And spending a lot of time with my mother.
She puts me at ease.
I have been escaping Azusa every chance i get, just to remind myself there
is a whole world outside of this fast paced, demanding, dramatic, campus life.
I have many more decisions to make, and lots of planning to do.
Good thing God can only be with me in the present, otherwise i'd be living in the past or the future...anywhere but right now.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

What a beautiful God there must be

In my jumbled wishlist of a prayer
I asked for someone to listen
For a moment with you
For some clarity
For my appetite back
For reconciliation

and today
i experienced all of those things.
Call it an answer, luck, or wishful thinking,
But now i don't feel so alone.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

it's cold

I. miss. everyone.
I couldn't cry
& i couldn't cry
Then Today in class i cried, on my bike i cried, everywhere.
I have to leave for a long time. And this makes me cry too.